The Diary of an Assistant Boyfriend: TRAVAILS OF THE FRIEND ZONE (Episode 5)

My name is ADEBISI OLADELE.... Welcome to the friend zone!
Guys!! Guys!! una don hear the latest? Lekan ran into the room panting! Wetin happen? Femi asked him. Them say they done upgrade entrance exam scores. Buhaahaaaaa! I burst into laughter, òlóbè, you hear that kind thing before, e no possible jare gbagbe e! I said with an air pf finality and conclusion. I swear I see am with my eyes, lekan said with assurance! I froze at the door. Say God! God, allah, Olorun I see am se! Chinasa's score was 198 before and now them done upgrade am to 216, na her physics them upgrade, I swear i see the two results printouts with my korokoro eyes. Lekan's testimony got us all convinced! Lekan was not the lying type.
We all scrambled for femi's phone, his phone was the only WAP enabled phone in our house. Deleeee! they done increase your scores oooo, Femi screamed. I jumped up in excitement. I was blessed with additional 12 marks. Make we go café go print am, we all embraced Lekan's suggestion. We became set for our cybercafe sojourn in a matter of seconds. Wait! I stopped our entourage, make I check Christy, make I collect her slip help her check if they go done upgrade her result too. I rushed to Christy's room, to get the slip. I got it and dashed out. I was in and out in a jiffy.
The worst happened, Christy's result was not upgraded. It was painful for the both of us.
Days rolled into weeks, our first semester exams were approaching, we waited for it but it was postponed not once but twice. Omo wo I dey travel jare, I no fit dey here jobless, to worsen the matter, food no come dey sef, na my papa house sure pass... Sanmi my housemate started this morning in a lamentation mode. The thing done taya me sef, I joined the lamentation spree, me sef go travel jare. Na so jare, we fit gather go ile oluyole together. Femi's parents have a house in the Oluyole capital. Guy, e be like say na ao e go be niyen... Oluyole straight.
Christy, I'll be going to Oluyole tomorrow, I broke the news to her that afternoon. Oluyole bawo? Who do you know there? Christy asked with a puzzled look on her face. I am going with Sanmi, explained. Ehen? So titi di igbawo? (Till when)? She asked... Eerrrm, maybe next week Monday. Next week Monday! She screamed like she got stung by a bee. Yes, next week Monday, any problem? I asked. So you'll leave me here for that long abi? She suddenly became moody. Han han, Monday is not that far nah, I'll be back before you know it. I'll miss you was the next thing she said.. I'll miss you too I replied, this time she was in my arms (maybe, maybe not).
We were getting ready for our oluyole journey that Wednesday afternoon when Christy strolled into our house. Deleeee iyawo e ti de oo (your wife is here oo) lekan's announcement made the whole house erupt into laughter. O o gbadun (you are not well) that has been Christy's usual response to lekan or anybody that refers to her as my babe. We both were already getting used to people thinking we were an item. We were set to leave, I bade Christy goodbye, it was the first time I will be leaving Christy for that long. She said bye too trying hard to keep me from seeing her tears.
To whom it may concern: this is mostly a pure work of fiction... You think i m writing bout lagbaja n tamedo... OYO is your case.. Or worse worse... Call police!
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